OH HUNNY, I WANT A MULE!

FIRST, LET ME CLARIFY THAT I DIDN'T HAVE A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THESE DANG MULES... GETTING A MULE, RIDING A MULE, FEEDING A MULE AND CERTAINLY DIDN'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT DYKE GETTING A MULE TO HAUL UP TO COLORADO TO ELK HUNT ON! HE HASN'T RIDDEN IN 20+ YEARS AND ALL I COULD SEE WAS DISASTER WITH A CAPITAL "D"! THERE... I PUBLICALLY WASHED MY HANDS OF THIS ESCAPADE!

NOW A FINE RANCH BRED QUARTERHORSE? I'M ALL ABOUT THAT!

NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY, HERE'S THE SCOOP ...

DYKE HAS BEEN INFATUATED WITH THE IDEA OF GETTING A MULE TO HAUL UP TO COLORADO TO ELK HUNT WITH...HE CLAIMS HE'S TOO OLD NOW TO BE FOOTIN' IT THROUGH THOSE MOUNTAINS. WELL, HE HEM-HAWED AROUND, LOOKING IN THE PAPER, LOOKING ON CRAIG'S LIST FOR A FEW MONTHS AND FINALLY,HOOKED UP WITH A LOCAL GUY WHO BROUGHT 2 MULES OVER FOR DYKE TO RIDE. ONLY THE BLACK ONE WAS FOR SALE. BISCUIT IS HIS NAME. THE GUY BROUGHT ONE OF HIS OWN RED ONES (CRICKET)TO "KEEP THE OTHER ONE COMPANY". WELL, EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND DANDY, THEY TRAILERED THEM OVER YESTERDAY EVENING WHEN IT COOLED DOWN TO 99 DEGREES...SADDLED UP AND HEADED OUT. I COULD TELL BY THE WAY HE SAT THE SADDLE...DYKE WAS HOOKED!

THERE'S BISCUIT!

DYKE ON CRICKET!

OFF INTO THE SUNSET THEY GO!

I WAS AT A MEETING IN TOWN, SO I REALLY WASN'T INVOLVED IN THIS FINE AND PLEASANT UNDERTAKING...UNTIL THE MORNING.

OH, THE TEST RIDE WENT GREAT AND EVERYTHING WAS HUNKY DORY...HOWEVER, ONE SMALL PIECE OF COMMON SENSE THAT I WOULD HAVE THROWN IN, IF I HAD BEEN HERE, WAS TO PEN 'UM UP BY THE BARN FOR THE NIGHT, SO THEY COULD GET THEIR BEARINGS...BUT, MEN WILL BE MEN...THEY LET 'UM OUT INTO THE BIG PASTURE WITH THE CATTLE. SHEESH!

THIS MORNING, AS WE HURRIDLY AWAKENED TO GET READY TO GO TO WICHITA FALLS WHERE DYKE'S MOM WAS HAVING A BIOPSY, WE SCANNED THE LOWER PASTURE AND DIDN'T SEE ANY SIGN OF A MULE. THAT'S WHEN DYKE WENT INTO OVERDRIVE. HE HOLLERED UP THE STAIRS TO ZACK, WHO WAS PEACEFULLY SLEEPING IN, "GET THE 4 WHEELER AND RIDE THE WEST PASTURE, WE'RE DRIVING THE SECTION. CALL ME WHEN YOU FIND 'UM." HALF-EYED, ZACK BUMBLED DOWN THE STAIRS, PULLED ON HIS BOOTS AND STEPPED OUT INTO THE EARLY MORNING HEAT...(what a way to start the morning!)

WE LOADED UP IN THE PICKUP, DROVE AND DROVE AND DROVED UNTIL WE FINALLY SPOTTED SOME TRACKS IN THE DUST ON THE COUNTY ROAD WEST OF THE FARM. ONLY ONE SET OF TRACKS THOUGH. WE BACK TRACKED HOPING TO FIND THE SPOT WHERE THEY DECIDED TO PART WAYS. WE DROVE SOUTH FOR A COUPLE MILES..."ONLY ONE SET OF TRACKS", I'D YELL AS I WAS HANGING OUT THE PICKUP WINDOW, SCANNING THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND INHALING MOUTHFULLS OF DIRT AND DUST! IT WAS LIKE WE WERE INDIAN TRACKING IN THE OLD WEST DAYS..........IN AN AIR CONDITIONED PICKUP!

DYKE'S PHONE RANG AND THE VOICE ON THE OTHER END SAID, "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A BLACK MULE? AS IT TURNED OUT, BISCUIT HEADED NORTH ABOUT 6 MILES, WANDERED INTO SOMEONE'S YARD AND I'M SURE, BEING A MULE, THEY STARTED MAKING PHONE CALLS TO FIND OUT WHO HAD A BLACK MULE WITH A "HEART" FREEZE BRAND ON THE FRONT SHOULDER.

AS HE HUNG UP THE PHONE ABOUT BISCUIT, A SLIGHT RELIEF WASHED OVER DYKE...BUT, WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE? WE DROVE TO THE TOP OF THE HILL ( WHICH HAPPENS TO BE THE HIGHEST POINT IN THE COUNTY AND THE LANDMARK THAT THE COWBOYS WOULD LOOK FOR AS THEY DROVE THEIR HERDS OF CATTLE NORTH TO THE RED RIVER BACK DURING THE TEXAS CATTLE DRIVES.)

AS WE CRESTED THE TOP OF THE HILL, WE GAZED ACROSS THE EXPANSE AND WANDERING AIMLESSLY IN A HAY FIELD A HALF MILE AWAY WAS THAT DANG CRICKET. (over 2 miles from the house) I later learned that he had been clear to the Pease River over 6 miles away! What the heck, Cricket?

ONLY THE GOOD LORD KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED... WHAT TIME THIS ALL WENT DOWN, AND WHERE THEY DECIDED TO MAKE THEIR BREAKOUT...ALL THAT MATTERED WAS THAT WE HAD LOCATED THEM.

WE CAUGHT CRICKET,AND ZACK LEAD HER BACK TO THE HOUSE. WE FOUND WHERE BISCUIT WAS BEING HELD, CAUGHT HIM,SADDLED HIM AND I STARTED OUT ON HIM. DOWN THE ROAD, HE STARTED GETTING HUMPY AND BRAYING LIKE CRAZY, SO I GOT OFF AND DYKE DECIDED TO GIVE IT A SHOT. PIECE O' CAKE! THOSE MULES ARE USED TO MEN AND WITH ME, THEY REALLY DIDN'T CARE TO HAVE ME NEAR THEM. I KNEW I DIDN'T LIKE THOSE DANG MULES! ANYWAY, DYKE ROAD BISCUIT HOME THE 6 OR SO MILES IN HIS GOOD CLOTHES THAT WE WERE PLANNING TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL IN!

IT TOOK HIM OVER AN HOUR TO GET HOME...

AFTER HE STRETCHED HIS LEGS, CHANGED HIS SHIRT AND GOT A GINORMOUS GLASS OF TEA, I CHECKED MY EMAIL AND THE PHONE RANG. IT WAS A GUY WHO I HAD CALLED 2 WEEKS AGO ABOUT BUYING SOME CALVES. HE EMAILED SOME PICTURES TO ME AND I TOLD HIM I WOULD CALL HIM IN A BIT. WE LOADED UP AND HEADED TO THE HOSPITAL. AS I WAS DRIVING, WE DECIDED THAT THE CATTLE DEAL WAS A GOOD ONE. WITH THE SEVERITY OF THE DROUGHT AND THE HIGH TEMPS, CATTLE ARE BEING LIQUIDATED LEFT AND RIGHT - GREAT PRICES TO BUY...HORRIBLE TO SELL! ANYWAY, I CALLED HIM BACK AND PUT DYKE ON THE PHONE TO SEAL THE DEAL. BY THAT TIME, WE GOT TO TOWN, SO WE GASED UP AND THE "NEW" PLAN WAS TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK OUT TO THE FARM, AND DROP ME OFF WHILE DYKE HEADED TO SEE HIS MOM. KNOWING THAT CRICKET WOULD BOLT AGAIN IF GIVEN THE CHANCE, I DECIDED TO HAUL HER BACK HOME, SO WE DIDN'T HAVE TO HAVE A REPEAT PERFORMANCE! ZACK AND I LOADED HER UP AND HAULED HER HOME - SHE WAS BRAYING ALL THE WAY AND ALL I COULD SEE IN THE REARVIEW, WERE THESE ANTENNAE-LIKE EARS FLICKING IN THE WIND! DANG MULES! YOU COULD SEE THE RELIEF IN HER EYES AND VOICE WHEN WE PULLED UP TO HER BARN.

SO, THAT WAS DONE! WHAT A DAY!!! I HAD PLANNED TO WORK ON SOME JEWELRY AND SIP MY MORNING COFFEE...MAYBE TOMORROW...

NOW I AM WAITING ON THE CATTLE DELIVERY AND TRYING TO PLAN WHAT WE'LL EAT FOR SUPPER...MAYBE A PIZZA!

BISCUIT WILL STAY WITH US FOR A WHILE, SO I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED ON HIS BEHAVIORAL ADVANCEMENTS! PHEW...I'M BEAT!