FOR SALE! BARGAIN BARN!!!

Ok, we have 5 male AKC registered black lab pups READY TO GO! They've been reduced in price, they've had their shots, and you can even get a copy of their 5 generation pedigree! YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE!

Buy one, get the 2nd one 1/2 off!

There are 27 titles on the sire's side and 13 on the dam's side! EXCELLENT LINEAGE and OUTSTANDING personalities! $300/ea.

PICK ME!!!

Also, I am selling a pair of "worn one time" GENUINE OLD GRINGO Aqua Python "ROCKSTAR" boots. I wore them one time for just a matter of hours to a cowgirl wedding...You know me...I am a low-heel cowgirl...these boots are completely PHENOMINAL, but the heels are 3.5" tall! I just can't keep them if I am not going to wear them. I HATE,HATE, HATE to have to give them up, so, if there's anyone out there who loves what I love and has a passion for cowgirl fashion...if the boot fits, buy it! They are worth WAY more than I am asking...(it's a total steal!)... I simply want them to be loved and used. Right now, they're on my bootrack... sad and lonely! I have searched the internet for another pair like these (Old Gringo Rockstar), just to see if there are anymore out there...but I can not locate anything even remotely similar!

TALK ABOUT MAKING A STATEMENT!!!

THEY'RE ONE OF A KIND!!!!!!!!!

They're a "big" size 8...so all of you 8.5 ers out there, these may be perfect!

Holler if you're interested. $400.00

WHILE THE CAT'S AWAY, THE MOUSE WILL PLAY!

Several days ago, Jake returned from the ranch with...of all things....a pick up! I happened to be in San Antonio at the time and received a call. Before I answered, I thought...oh my gosh, Jake misses me and just wants to say hi! My heart has such a warm, mushy feeling that it almost brought tears to my eyes!

Here's how it went:

"Mom?"

"Hi Jake! It's so good to hear your voice!"

"Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that I bought a pick-up for $25.00...actually Arron and I bought it for 50."

"WHAT?"(silence)

"A pick-up, mom." Aaron and I bought it for 50 dollars from the ranch! It's awesome and we're gonna fix it up!"

"Son! Does your father know about it yet?Anyway, you already have a pick-up - we drove all the way to Phoenix to get it Why do you need another one? And, where did you get this truck?

"No, I haven't called Dad, I wanted to let you be the first to know.....It's gonna be a huntin' truck."

"Jake...what kind of truck is worth 50 bucks?

"It's the one we drive at work, ya' know, the POC (piece o'crap)!

"YOU BOUGHT THE POC? Have I not raised you better than that?"

"It has no reverse and the brakes need fixin' and my boss was gonna to just leave it at the ranch dump.You'll see, Mom...it's gonna be awesome!"

"Son... hunny... there's a reason that Randy was going to just scrap it...it's not worth fixing...Don't you see that? Do you know how much it costs to fix a truck?"

"Mom, we're all gonna work on it in the barn...we're gonna make it our redneck huntin' truck...weld a big Ranch-hand grill guard on it, make a roll bar, a gun rack and put some awesome lights on it to hunt at night...you'll see...Hey, when are you comin' home?"

"You better call your father before you roll that thing onto the farm property."

"Yeah, ok, Mom. See ya on Thursday! Thanks, Mom!"

click.

Well, of course I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the dang training...Visions of rebel flags, guns and girls in crocheted string bikinis flashed through my mind. What the heck?? He was such a wonderful "little boy" and always did as he was asked! Where did we go wrong? Ugh...I think I need a margarita!

Upon making it home the 7 long hours that span between San Antonio - home of the water trough margaritas to Vernon - home of the cowboy rednecks...I was introduced to the "SHAGGIN' WAGON". It was parked behind the barn and as Jake rumbled it out from the shadows...I just had to smile. He was so proud of it..and you could see true happiness all over his face. They had worked all evening the night before, to design and start welding the grill guard. Somehow they had acquired a random assortment of iron stock to use in their design. Yeah, it was pretty rednecky...but for some wierd reason, I was ok with it. It was at the farm, so that meant that Dyke gave some kind of affirmation to the idea...Oh my...

NICE DEER SKULL DRAPED IN A REBEL FLAG BANDANA....Mmmmm...that's my son!
Even though it now drives...Dyke has clearly and plainly stated that Jake may NOT drive it on any roads until he has insurance...so for now, it's only gone to the river and that was by Jarod towing him with his huge, jacked-up Ford...what a sight...

LOVELY INTERIOR!

BONDING BROTHERS!

"Son, what does 'SHAGGIN' mean?"


It used to say "I want to be a Chevy", but when the feeble idea to remove the doors entered their pea-sized, redneck craniums, they didn't think about their graffiti...

Oh, Hunny...aren't you proud of our first born?

ALSO, WHILE I WAS AWAY...

Dyke bought a stock trailer, a round bale spike (to move huge round bales with) and Biscuit, the mule!

This is a round hay bale for all you city slickers...it weighs about 1,500 lbs!

DA' PONDEROSA

HERE'S WHAT'S NEW...IT'S BEEN A WHILE!

I guess LIFE has kept me from tapping out a posting each day...for those who are followers, I am so sorry! I have posted a couple of times today, so that things are somewhat caught up...

My parents gave Dyke an outdoor shower for his birthday! I really think it will come in handy with the way he and the boys show up at the house after a day of fishing or being on the river or at the pond...They just don't realize that Red River mud-caked clothing can't just be thrown into my expensive washer with the rest of the daily laundry...SHEESH!

It's really quite amazing - it's solar heated, but there's a knob that allows you to create the water temperature the way you want it! I tried it - as a real shower - but I'm not posting pictures! Ever since I lived in a tent for 2 years in Maryland, I have wanted to have an outdoor shower to "bring back the good ol' days"! I would love Dyke to make it more permanent - with an enclosure of somekind, so that I can use it more often. It's not the neighbors I am concerned with - they're over a mile away...It's haying season and there are a lot of farmers out there in the fields and on the roads... you can see my need for an enclosure!

YES SON...IT'S AN ILLEGAL WEAPON!

DURING JAKE'S LUNCH BREAKS AT THE RANCH, HE AND HIS BUDDY WORKED SEVERAL DAYS TO FASHION A POTATO GUN OUT OF SOME PVC PIPE, AND AN OLD IGNITER MECHANISM FROM A GRILL. HOW PROUD HE WAS TO BRING IT HOME TO SHOW OFF...DESPITE HIS PARENTS ORDERS...(it was kinda cool though!)


STEP 1: LOAD A POTATO INTO THE BARREL AND USE A BROOM HANDLE TO RAM IT TO THE END OF THE TUBE (very similar to a black powder rifle)

STEP 2: HAVE A COHORT SPRAY HAIRSPRAY INTO THE END OF THE CHAMBER, WHILE YOU COUNT TO 3. QUICKLY CLOSE THE CHAMBER AND SEAL IT WITH THE END CAP.

STEP 3: RAISE IT AT AN ANGLE, POINTING IT INTO A PLOWED FIELD OR SOME OTHER SAFE DIRECTION. (be sure to prepare for the "kick")

STEP 4: SQUEEZE THE IGNITER TRIGER AND WHOOOOOOOMMMMMM - OFF THE POTATO FLIES WITH A LOUD, CANNON-LIKE THUD~!

LUCKILY, HIS "LAW ENFORCEMENT FATHER" SUCCESSFULLY IMPRESSED UPON HIM THAT THE POTATO GUN WAS NO LONGER ALLOWED TO BE ON THE PREMISES...SO IT NOW PRESIDES AT HIS BUDDIE'S HOUSE...STILL ILLEGAL TO POSSESS!

OUR VERY BEST FRIENDS FROM THE COAST CAME UP FOR A "TOO-SHORT" VISIT! WE MISS THEM SO DANG MUCH...IT WAS SO WONDERFUL TO RECONNECT WITH THEM AND IT WAS DIFFICULT TO SEE THEM DRIVE OUT THE DRIVEWAY!

AWWWWWW....

THE PUPPIES ARE GROWING LIKE CRAZY! THEY'RE READY TO FIND NEW HOMES. THEY HAVE AMAZING BLOODLINES AND WE'VE ADVERTISED IN PAPERS AND ON WEBSITES...KNOW ANYONE WHO WOULD GIVE A WONDERFUL, LOVING HOME TO A BEAUTIFUL, WELL-BRED BLACK LAB PUP??

HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY RESIST THAT FACE??

THEY'RE LIKE TODLERS...INTO EVERYTHING!

CHOW TIME!!!

...TUG OF WAR WITH THE TRAINING DUMMY...

OH...I JUST ADORE THE WATER!

4 DAYS IN SAN ANTONIO!!! YEE-HAW!!!!

I JUST RETURNED FROM 4 DAYS IN SAN ANTONIO. MY PRINCIPAL ASKED IF I WOULD STEP IN FOR ANOTHER TEACHER AND GO TO A TRAINING DOWN IN SAN ANTONIO. WITH ALL THAT WAS GOING ON AT THE FARM AND THINGS I HAD TO ATTEND TO, I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO GO, BUT KNEW HE NEEDED SOME HELP...SO I WENT.

LONG STORY SHORT - THE TRAINING WAS PHENOMINAL AND I TRULY BELIEVE, I WAS MEANT TO BE THERE!! I CAME AWAY WITH SO MUCH, BOTH PROFESSIONALLY AND PERSONALLY, THAT I FELT SO BLESSED TO HAVE BEEN ASKED TO GO!

YA' KNOW....SOMETIMES WE ARE SO QUICK TO MAKE JUDGEMENTS ON PEOPLE OR EVENTS IN OUR LIVES...BUT IF WE SIT BACK AND LOOK AT IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO EMBRACE WHAT'S "MEANT TO BE", A VERY DIFFERENT APPROACH TO THE ISSUE IS LEARNED AND THERE IS A PEACE THAT IS INDESCRIBABLE.

OUR TRAINING WAS 8-4 EACH DAY. WE HEADED TO DOWNTOWN EVERY AFTERNOON FOLLOWING THE TRAINING TO ENJOY THE LOCAL CULTURE AND SIGHTS... OF COURSE, THE ALAMO...positioned smack in the middle of downtown, dwarfed by the multitude of looming buildings. Much of it was destroyed in the 1836 seige, but has been historically restored. It is an AMAZING story of courage, and dedication - Google it!

A BRIEF HISTORY: Some accounts say that the battle at the Alamo lasted 13 days, some 11 and some 12...but it was only one of the famous battles of the Texas Revolution. Davy Crockett, William B. Travis, and Jim Bowie were some of the household names of the 189 defenders. The Mexican army numbered 1,800...

The final assault (no longer than 90 minutes) came before daybreak on the morning of March 6, 1836, as columns of Mexican soldiers emerged from the predawn darkness and headed for the Alamo's walls. Cannon and small arms fire from inside the Alamo beat back several attacks. Regrouping, the Mexicans scaled the walls and rushed into the compound. Once inside, they turned a captured cannon on the Long Barrack and church, blasting open the barricaded doors.The desperate struggle continued until the defenders were overwhelmed. By sunrise, the battle had ended and Santa Anna (the Mexican General)entered the Alamo compound to survey the scene of his victory. Those who weren't dead already were executed, and by the end of the day, all of the Alamo defenders lay dead.

While the facts surrounding the siege of the Alamo continue to be debated, there is no doubt about what the battle has come to symbolize. People worldwide continue to remember the Alamo as a heroic struggle against impossible odds — a place where men made the ultimate sacrifice for freedom. For this reason, the Alamo remains hallowed ground and the Shrine of Texas Liberty.

THE MENGER HOTEL

Opened by William Menger on February 1, 1859 (23 years after the fall of the Alamo), the hotel was constructed on the site of Menger′s brewery, the first brewery in Texas . Said to have been the finest hotel west of the Mississippi River. It is the Menger that has housed personalities such as Theodore Roosevelt, Sidney Lanier, Babe Ruth, Mae West, Robert E. Lee, Ulysses S. Grant, Sarah Bernhardt, and Gutzon Borglum, just to name a few.

When the Civil War and Reconstruction were over, and especially after the railroad arrived in 1877, the Menger became the best-known hotel in the Southwest. It was praised for the cuisine offered in the Colonial Dining Room, which included such specialties as wild game, mango ice cream, and snapper soup made from turtles caught in the San Antonio River.

THE MENGER HOTEL ...TODAY

THE MENGER HOTEL BAR

The solid cherry bar, cherry-paneled ceiling, French mirrors, and gold-plated spittoons were the marvels of San Antonio in the mid-1800's. The beer was chilled by the Alamo Madre ditch, which passed through the hotel courtyard, mint juleps were served in solid silver tumblers, and hot rum toddies came to have wide renown. Theodore Roosevelt first visited the Menger in 1892 on a javelina hunt; he returned to recruit his Rough Riders at the hotel in 1898; and in 1905 he was back for a banquet.

It was here, in the Menger Bar, that Roosevelt recruited hard-living cowboys fresh from the Chisholm Trail, to his detachment of Rough Riders. Reportedly, Teddy would sit at the bar and as the cowboys came in, he would jovially offer them a free drink (or several) as he worked his recruiting strategy upon the unsuspecting cowpokes. Many sobered up the next morning to find themselves on their way to basic military training at Fort Sam Houston before joining in the Spanish American War.

The "Rough Riders" was the name bestowed on the 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the Spanish-American War and the only one of the three to see action. (A quick history lesson) The United States army was weakened and left with little manpower after the Civil War roughly 30 years prior. As a result, President William McKinley called upon 1,250 volunteers to assist in the war efforts. It was also called "Wood's Weary Walkers" after its first commander, Colonel Leonard Wood, as an acknowledgment of the fact that despite being a cavalry unit they ended up fighting on foot as infantry. When Colonel Wood became commander of the 1st Cavalry Brigade (1st U.S. Cavalry, 10th U.S. Cavalry, and 1st U.S.V. Cavalry) the Rough Riders then became "Roosevelt's Rough Riders". That term was familiar in 1898, from Buffalo Bill, who called his famous western show "Buffalo Bill's Wild West and Congress of Rough Riders of the World".

SOME OF ROOSEVELT'S PERSONAL ITEMS ARE DISPLAYED IN GLASS CASES, ALONG WITH A HUGE MOOSE HEAD THAT STANDS GUARD IN THE BAR. IT WAS AMAZING TO BE IN THE BAR WHERE ALL OF THIS AWESOME HISTORY AND AMAZING PEOPLE ONCE STOOD! WHAT A PLACE!

THE MENGER HOTEL IS REPORTEDLY HAUNTED!

Over the years, Roosevelt has reportedly been seen having a drink at the dark little bar room off the main lobby.

The most often sighted spiritual guest is a woman named Sallie White. Long ago, Sallie was a chambermaid who worked within the hotel and one night after an argument with her husband, she stayed overnight. The next day her husband threatened to kill her and some time later, on March 28, 1876, he attacked her inside the hotel. Badly injured, she held on for two days before dying of her injuries. According to the hotel’s ledgers, it paid for her funeral at a cost of $32.00.
Today, Sallie apparently continues to perform her duties within the Victorian wing of the hotel. Sallie has been seen numerous times wearing an old long gray skirt and a bandana around her forehead, the uniform common during her era. Primarily, appearing at night, Sallie is generally seen walking along the hotel hallways, carrying a load of clean towels for the guests.

Another apparition that is often reported is that of Captain Richard King,once the owner of one of the largest ranches in the world – The King Ranch. A frequent visitor to the Menger Hotel during his lifetime, he had a personal suite within the hotel. When he learned of his impending death from his personal physicians, Captain King spent the last months of his life, wrote his will disposing of his great wealth, and bade farewell to his friends in his suite at the Menger. On April 15, 1885, King’s funeral was held in the Menger’s parlor. Today, the room in which he stayed is called the “King Ranch Room.” He is often seen entering his old room, going right through the wall where the door was once located before it was remodeled.

Another ghostly spirit of a woman is often spotted sitting in the original lobby of the historic hotel. Wearing an old fashioned blue dress, small wire-framed glasses, and a tasseled beret in her hair, she sits quietly knitting. On one occasion a staff member stopped to ask her, "Are you comfortable...may I get you something?", only to be answered with an unfriendly “No” before the woman disappeared.

Another guest reported that when emerging from the shower they saw an apparition dressed in a buckskin jacket and grey pants, who was busy having a heated conversation with an unseen presence. The entity demanded to know; "Are you gonna stay or are you gonna go?" three times before vanishing.

Other entities have been known to "help" in the kitchen area, as various utensils have floated through the air seemingly all by themselves. Utensils are often seen transporting themselves from one area to another without the help of human hands.

Adjacent to the Alamo, some of these ghostly visitors to the hotel are attributed to the many that died during the battle of the Alamo. Often heavy footsteps and kicking are heard and old military boots are spied by the guests and staff.

THE RIVERWALK

The FAMOUS San Antonio River Walk is just across the street from the Alamo - shops, restaurants, and hotels flank the beautiful, winding river where you can take a narrated boat taxi from one end to the other. We didn't take the tour, as we all had been there before at one point or another.

Here's a little history of the River Walk: In the beginning, Spanish Explorers used the waterway to supply water to their missions. Mission San Antonio de Valero, also known as The Alamo, was the first to benefit from it. The river flooded its banks many times. In September 1921 the worst flood in its history killed over fifty people and caused millions of dollars in damage to the city. City planners struggled over what to do while large debates rang among the people. One man, an architect named Robert H. H. Hugman proposed a plan that would turn the area into a beautiful urban park with apartments, dining, shopping, boat rides and walk ways lit with old-fashioned street lamps. He wanted it to be just as if one were walking in Venice, Italy. After convincing city officials and business leaders of the financial benefits of his plan, the dream became a reality and the riverwalk was eventually sculpted into the masterpiece you see today.

OF COURSE, WE HAD TO EXPERIENCE THE LOCAL CULTURE, CUISINE AND CONSUMABLES!
THESE HUGE TROUGH-SIZED MARGARITAS WERE CALLED "TEXAS SIZE". YOU CAN'T TELL BY THE PICTURE, BUT THE DIAMETER OF THE "TROUGH" WAS @ 10 INCHES!!!

................"YEE-HAW.............................................

..........I LOVE SAN ANTONIO!!!".............................

OUR 4 DAYS ENDED QUICKLY AND IT WAS TIME TO HEAD BACK (7 hours) TO VERNON.

WHAT A GREAT TRIP!

SHE'S GOTTA GO!

WE BOUGHT A LOAD OF CATTLE AND THEY WERE DELIVERED BACK A FEW WEEKS AGO - BRED COWS AND WEANED CALVES...THEY CAME FROM TERRELL, TX (about 3 hours away) THEY WERE UNLOADED, THE PAYMENT WAS MADE AND THE SHIPPER GOT BACK ON THE ROAD. WE KEPT THEM UP AT THE BARN FOR A FEW DAYS TO JUST ACCLIMATE.

THE NEXT MORNING, WE NOTICED IMMEDIATELY THAT ONE OF THE MAMA COWS WAS DOWN AND NOT JUST RESTING. I MADE HER GET UP AND REALIZED THAT SHE WAS NOT DOING WELL. SHE WAS CARRYING HER BACK RIGHT LEG - AND IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS HER HIP.

AFTER A COUPLE MORE DAYS OF OBSERVATION, WE TURNED THE REST OF THEM OUT INTO THE BIG PASTURE, BUT KEPT HER UP. SHE WAS MAD. SHE IS ALWAYS MAD!

SHE ALSO HAD THIS HUGE BALL-LIKE GROWTH EXTENDING FROM HER LEFT HIP...

WE DECIDED TO HAUL HER INTO TOWN TO LET THE VET TAKE A GANDER. SINCE WE'RE IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING SOME PERMANENT CHUTES, DYKE HAD TO FASHION A TEMPORARY ONE OUT OF SOME PANELS.

(Do ya like the buffalo skulls on the fence in this picture? You can read about that whole escapade in one of my Red River Chronicles listed in my other posts in the sidebar.) DYKE BACKED THE TRAILER TO THE CHUTE AND THAT'S WHEN THE "FUN" STARTED...SHE WAS NOT GOING IN THAT TRAILER FOR NUTHIN'! I THINK SHE REMEMBERED THE PILGRIMAGE FROM TERRELL AND SHE WASN'T LETTIN' THAT HAPPEN AGAIN! SHE SNORTED, FROTHED AT THE MOUTH AND CHARGED AT BOTH ME AND DYKE. I WAS THE FIRST "VICTIM TARGET" AND LUCKILY I WAS ABLE TO GET OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE SHE PLOWED ME OVER! OOOO, WAS SHE CRAZED!

A FLEETING THOUGHT OF "MAD COW DISEASE" WASHED OVER ME...I HAVE WORKED A LOT OF CATTLE AND SHE JUST DIDN'T FIT THE BILL FOR THE NORM...SOMETHIN' WAS WRONG WITH THIS DANG COW! SHOOT FIRE...WHY DIDN'T WE FULLY EXAMINE EACH ONE BEFORE THE SHIPPER LEFT THE FARM...THIS ONE WOULD CERTAINLY HAVE BEEN RELOADED!

DYKE PLAYED "VICTIM" SEVERAL TIMES! HER RAGE ESCALATED WITH EVERY SNORT AND SLINGING OF HER UGLY HEAD! FINALLY AFTER A DOZEN ATTEMPTS, SHE RAN THROUGH THE CHUTE AND INTO THE TRAILER. GOTCHA...YOU WILD MANIAC!

DR. MATTHEWS COULD TELL RIGHT AWAY (I guess that's why he gets the big money and not me.) IT WASN'T HER HIP, BUT HER HOOF. BEFORE HE CHECKED THAT, I TOLD HIM SHE WAS SUPOSSED TO BE BRED, SO HE PULLED ON ONE OF THOSE LATEX GLOVES THAT GO CLEAR UP TO YOUR UPPER ARM AND IN HE WENT! HE TWISTED HIS ARM A BIT AND FINALLY WAS "IN HER" ALMOST UP TO HIS SHOULDER. "YUP, SHE'S GOT A BIG BABY IN THERE...PROBABLY 3 MONTHS BRED." WELL, THAT WAS GOOD...ATLEAST WE GOT WHAT WE PAID FOR...HE SLOWLY BACKED HIS ARM OUT AND REMOVED THE MANURE CAKED GLOVE. ON TO THE NEXT AILMENT...

HE CLIPPED THE TIP OF HER HOOF OFF AND DARK BLOOD AND PUSS INSTANTLY SQUIRTED OUT. HE DABBED SOME ON HIS FINGER AND OFFERED IT TO ME TO SMELL..."THIS AIN'T CHANNELL #5, HERE TAKE A WIFF"...OH MY GOODNESS...TALK ABOUT RANK! SHOOT!

WHEN HE CHECKED THAT BIG BALL LIKE GROWTH, HE SAID IT WAS A BLOOD CLOT FROM WHERE SHE WAS PROBABLY BUMPED OR FELL DOWN IN THE TRAILER OR SOMETHING. HE GRABBED A SCALPEL AND PROCEEDED TO DRIVE IT INTO THE MASS. IMMEDIATELY, BLOOD, PUSS AND STRINGS OF WHITE COLORED TISSUE POURED FORTH. HE SAID THE WHITE STUFF WAS THE ACTUAL CLOT. HE PUSHED AND SQUEEZED -LIKE A GIANT ZIT- UNTIL IT WAS MOSTLY DRAINED. NOW SHE HAD THIS GAPING HOLE IN HER HIND END, AND A DRAINING HOOF...YEE-HAW!

SHE GOT A HUGE DOSE OF ANTIBIOTICS AND WE WERE ON OUR WAY.

MAD WASN'T EVEN THE APPROPRIATE WORD NOW. INCENSED, INSANE, RABID-LIKE, DERRANGED AND VIOLENT WERE NOW THE ADJECTIVES! IT TOOK 3 GUYS AND A HOTSHOT TO GET HER BACK IN THE DANG TRAILER!

MMMmmmm...CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME AND DEAL WITH THIS ONE! SHE'S STILL UP AT THE BARN, BUT DYKE OPENED HER AREA UP TO THE SIDE PASTURE SO THAT SHE COULD GET UP AND AROUND AND GRAZE.

SHE HAS ACTUALLY GOTTEN DYKE THROWN ONTO THE GROUND ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS WHEN HE HAS ENTERED THE PEN TO CHECK HER... AS SOON AS SHE CALVES AND THAT BABY GETS WEANED, SHE'S GOTTA GO!

OH HUNNY, I WANT A MULE!

FIRST, LET ME CLARIFY THAT I DIDN'T HAVE A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THESE DANG MULES... GETTING A MULE, RIDING A MULE, FEEDING A MULE AND CERTAINLY DIDN'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT DYKE GETTING A MULE TO HAUL UP TO COLORADO TO ELK HUNT ON! HE HASN'T RIDDEN IN 20+ YEARS AND ALL I COULD SEE WAS DISASTER WITH A CAPITAL "D"! THERE... I PUBLICALLY WASHED MY HANDS OF THIS ESCAPADE!

NOW A FINE RANCH BRED QUARTERHORSE? I'M ALL ABOUT THAT!

NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY, HERE'S THE SCOOP ...

DYKE HAS BEEN INFATUATED WITH THE IDEA OF GETTING A MULE TO HAUL UP TO COLORADO TO ELK HUNT WITH...HE CLAIMS HE'S TOO OLD NOW TO BE FOOTIN' IT THROUGH THOSE MOUNTAINS. WELL, HE HEM-HAWED AROUND, LOOKING IN THE PAPER, LOOKING ON CRAIG'S LIST FOR A FEW MONTHS AND FINALLY,HOOKED UP WITH A LOCAL GUY WHO BROUGHT 2 MULES OVER FOR DYKE TO RIDE. ONLY THE BLACK ONE WAS FOR SALE. BISCUIT IS HIS NAME. THE GUY BROUGHT ONE OF HIS OWN RED ONES (CRICKET)TO "KEEP THE OTHER ONE COMPANY". WELL, EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND DANDY, THEY TRAILERED THEM OVER YESTERDAY EVENING WHEN IT COOLED DOWN TO 99 DEGREES...SADDLED UP AND HEADED OUT. I COULD TELL BY THE WAY HE SAT THE SADDLE...DYKE WAS HOOKED!

THERE'S BISCUIT!

DYKE ON CRICKET!

OFF INTO THE SUNSET THEY GO!

I WAS AT A MEETING IN TOWN, SO I REALLY WASN'T INVOLVED IN THIS FINE AND PLEASANT UNDERTAKING...UNTIL THE MORNING.

OH, THE TEST RIDE WENT GREAT AND EVERYTHING WAS HUNKY DORY...HOWEVER, ONE SMALL PIECE OF COMMON SENSE THAT I WOULD HAVE THROWN IN, IF I HAD BEEN HERE, WAS TO PEN 'UM UP BY THE BARN FOR THE NIGHT, SO THEY COULD GET THEIR BEARINGS...BUT, MEN WILL BE MEN...THEY LET 'UM OUT INTO THE BIG PASTURE WITH THE CATTLE. SHEESH!

THIS MORNING, AS WE HURRIDLY AWAKENED TO GET READY TO GO TO WICHITA FALLS WHERE DYKE'S MOM WAS HAVING A BIOPSY, WE SCANNED THE LOWER PASTURE AND DIDN'T SEE ANY SIGN OF A MULE. THAT'S WHEN DYKE WENT INTO OVERDRIVE. HE HOLLERED UP THE STAIRS TO ZACK, WHO WAS PEACEFULLY SLEEPING IN, "GET THE 4 WHEELER AND RIDE THE WEST PASTURE, WE'RE DRIVING THE SECTION. CALL ME WHEN YOU FIND 'UM." HALF-EYED, ZACK BUMBLED DOWN THE STAIRS, PULLED ON HIS BOOTS AND STEPPED OUT INTO THE EARLY MORNING HEAT...(what a way to start the morning!)

WE LOADED UP IN THE PICKUP, DROVE AND DROVE AND DROVED UNTIL WE FINALLY SPOTTED SOME TRACKS IN THE DUST ON THE COUNTY ROAD WEST OF THE FARM. ONLY ONE SET OF TRACKS THOUGH. WE BACK TRACKED HOPING TO FIND THE SPOT WHERE THEY DECIDED TO PART WAYS. WE DROVE SOUTH FOR A COUPLE MILES..."ONLY ONE SET OF TRACKS", I'D YELL AS I WAS HANGING OUT THE PICKUP WINDOW, SCANNING THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND INHALING MOUTHFULLS OF DIRT AND DUST! IT WAS LIKE WE WERE INDIAN TRACKING IN THE OLD WEST DAYS..........IN AN AIR CONDITIONED PICKUP!

DYKE'S PHONE RANG AND THE VOICE ON THE OTHER END SAID, "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A BLACK MULE? AS IT TURNED OUT, BISCUIT HEADED NORTH ABOUT 6 MILES, WANDERED INTO SOMEONE'S YARD AND I'M SURE, BEING A MULE, THEY STARTED MAKING PHONE CALLS TO FIND OUT WHO HAD A BLACK MULE WITH A "HEART" FREEZE BRAND ON THE FRONT SHOULDER.

AS HE HUNG UP THE PHONE ABOUT BISCUIT, A SLIGHT RELIEF WASHED OVER DYKE...BUT, WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE? WE DROVE TO THE TOP OF THE HILL ( WHICH HAPPENS TO BE THE HIGHEST POINT IN THE COUNTY AND THE LANDMARK THAT THE COWBOYS WOULD LOOK FOR AS THEY DROVE THEIR HERDS OF CATTLE NORTH TO THE RED RIVER BACK DURING THE TEXAS CATTLE DRIVES.)

AS WE CRESTED THE TOP OF THE HILL, WE GAZED ACROSS THE EXPANSE AND WANDERING AIMLESSLY IN A HAY FIELD A HALF MILE AWAY WAS THAT DANG CRICKET. (over 2 miles from the house) I later learned that he had been clear to the Pease River over 6 miles away! What the heck, Cricket?

ONLY THE GOOD LORD KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED... WHAT TIME THIS ALL WENT DOWN, AND WHERE THEY DECIDED TO MAKE THEIR BREAKOUT...ALL THAT MATTERED WAS THAT WE HAD LOCATED THEM.

WE CAUGHT CRICKET,AND ZACK LEAD HER BACK TO THE HOUSE. WE FOUND WHERE BISCUIT WAS BEING HELD, CAUGHT HIM,SADDLED HIM AND I STARTED OUT ON HIM. DOWN THE ROAD, HE STARTED GETTING HUMPY AND BRAYING LIKE CRAZY, SO I GOT OFF AND DYKE DECIDED TO GIVE IT A SHOT. PIECE O' CAKE! THOSE MULES ARE USED TO MEN AND WITH ME, THEY REALLY DIDN'T CARE TO HAVE ME NEAR THEM. I KNEW I DIDN'T LIKE THOSE DANG MULES! ANYWAY, DYKE ROAD BISCUIT HOME THE 6 OR SO MILES IN HIS GOOD CLOTHES THAT WE WERE PLANNING TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL IN!

IT TOOK HIM OVER AN HOUR TO GET HOME...

AFTER HE STRETCHED HIS LEGS, CHANGED HIS SHIRT AND GOT A GINORMOUS GLASS OF TEA, I CHECKED MY EMAIL AND THE PHONE RANG. IT WAS A GUY WHO I HAD CALLED 2 WEEKS AGO ABOUT BUYING SOME CALVES. HE EMAILED SOME PICTURES TO ME AND I TOLD HIM I WOULD CALL HIM IN A BIT. WE LOADED UP AND HEADED TO THE HOSPITAL. AS I WAS DRIVING, WE DECIDED THAT THE CATTLE DEAL WAS A GOOD ONE. WITH THE SEVERITY OF THE DROUGHT AND THE HIGH TEMPS, CATTLE ARE BEING LIQUIDATED LEFT AND RIGHT - GREAT PRICES TO BUY...HORRIBLE TO SELL! ANYWAY, I CALLED HIM BACK AND PUT DYKE ON THE PHONE TO SEAL THE DEAL. BY THAT TIME, WE GOT TO TOWN, SO WE GASED UP AND THE "NEW" PLAN WAS TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK OUT TO THE FARM, AND DROP ME OFF WHILE DYKE HEADED TO SEE HIS MOM. KNOWING THAT CRICKET WOULD BOLT AGAIN IF GIVEN THE CHANCE, I DECIDED TO HAUL HER BACK HOME, SO WE DIDN'T HAVE TO HAVE A REPEAT PERFORMANCE! ZACK AND I LOADED HER UP AND HAULED HER HOME - SHE WAS BRAYING ALL THE WAY AND ALL I COULD SEE IN THE REARVIEW, WERE THESE ANTENNAE-LIKE EARS FLICKING IN THE WIND! DANG MULES! YOU COULD SEE THE RELIEF IN HER EYES AND VOICE WHEN WE PULLED UP TO HER BARN.

SO, THAT WAS DONE! WHAT A DAY!!! I HAD PLANNED TO WORK ON SOME JEWELRY AND SIP MY MORNING COFFEE...MAYBE TOMORROW...

NOW I AM WAITING ON THE CATTLE DELIVERY AND TRYING TO PLAN WHAT WE'LL EAT FOR SUPPER...MAYBE A PIZZA!

BISCUIT WILL STAY WITH US FOR A WHILE, SO I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED ON HIS BEHAVIORAL ADVANCEMENTS! PHEW...I'M BEAT!