ALL IN A MORNING'S WORK!

One would think that a quiet home for close to one week, devoid of husband and kids and even your once day-to-day job of corraling our young American youth to teach them what they needed to know in this modern world, would warrant some big-time R&R, late nights, a chick flick or two, a few unlimited Ebay purchases, more cold beers than you really needed to indulge in, some good coffee on the porch swing as the world awakens from a stormy night, soggy, fulfilled and finally green...


.....That scenerio sounds fabulous compared to what the reality of it all was.


Yeah, sure, late nights - coughing my head off and implanting twisted tissue tubes into each nostril to hold back the faucet-like drip action...Absolutely...BIG-TIME R&R...medicated under a fog of antibiotics, and over-the-counter severe sinus saviors - confined to the couch with the nearby ottoman supporting the remote, a box of tissues, a cellphone, the house phone and my bottle of pills...no chick flick, but the ol' John Wayne classics sure did hit the spot and put my world of sufferage into perspective...no cold beers, but lotsa juice, water, Sprite and hot tea...no coffee...no front porch swing... and 4 days of laying in my wallow on the couch, holding my head in near traction for fear of creating a worse sinus migraine. OK, maybe it's a bit glorified, but it was certainly not fair, nor fun.

My first 4 days of summer...Mmmmm...not good.


I am tickled to say that on the 5th day, my body was able to move in a vertical position for the entire day starting at 5:45am! It was a miraculous healing! Really! It was on that 5th day that I was to be at a suicide prevention/intervention workshop in Wichita Falls. My signatures for both the morning and afternoon sessions would allow me one comp day in January, so I HAD to make it there. Everyone else would be there too, so I had to suck it up and push past the pain.


Looking back, it turned out to be a very eye opening workshop filled with information and resources to begin our campus Task Force Team. The stats were staggering and alarming - mere children of 7 years of age have been documented to have suicidal tendencies, thoughts,and even attempts. I left there with a desire to "save the world" from that mess, knowing that it was near impossible. The world that our children are growing up in is a world unlike anything anyone has ever experienced. "Sex-ting", cyber-bullying, internet porn and the like...how is that stopped? I don't guess you can actually stop it, just provide interventions and protocols as the support system...that's the sad part.


Anyway, backing up...As I enjoyed my first cup of java, happy to be alive and vertical, while the morning news curtailed last nights events, I lazily went to check my email. Mmmmm, a nice relaxing morning after my near death experience in the days prior. I breathed deeply, wheezing as the air passed through my larynx. No new emails. I decided to see which craft shows my DVR taped in the night. Choosing my favorite one, I watched it in its entirety - lazily sipping coffee, curled up in my faux fur throw and fast forwarding through the commercials, without others saying, "Can we watch something that we ALL like?" How could someone possess the depth of intellect to think up and design such an invention as the DVR? As the show ended I gazed through the early morning dawn's light to the far northern pasture. From the warmth and comfort of my favorite leather couch, and almost choking on my next mouthful of hot coffee, I quickly realized that the cows were out... What the heck? They hadn't been out in over a month! We sold off the culprits of the hourly breakouts and things have been totally fine since...!! Seeing which area they were in, I knew at a glance that the "Wheaties" (the guys that cut our wheat yesterday)did not secure the fence and of course with 90 acres of fence, the dang cows - 3 day old calves and all - found the escape route. What do they do all night, walk the fencelines looking for openings? Sheesh! I powerwalked to the kitchen -breathing heavily and raspily - I realized exactly how out of shape I really was. Monday - next Monday, I thought. That would be the perfect day to start a rigorous, structured daily exercise routine...I have always drempt of looking like G.I. Jane...maybe this was the summer it would come to fruition...With the use of the binoculars that I keep conveniently on the windowsill by the sink, I was able to surmise that some of the cows were not actually in our neighbor's pasture to the west of us, which meant they were out on the county road. Glancing at the clock, and mentally listing all of the things I had to do by 7:00, I knew without a doubt that everything HAD to work like clockwork...I hate when I put myself in these binds. Mental note: I will schedule an appointment with an attention deficit physician in the morning.

If I departed the farm no later than 7:15, I could get to the P.O. for a shipment, grab a sin-filled burrito at the Grocery Sack and be at the school meeting spot for our 60 mile commute to Wichita Falls. I rose from the couch, chased my morning antibiotic with a mouthful of lukewarm coffee and headed to the shower. WHY? Everything was so nice, calm and easy! Why did it have to get light out? Why did I have to see the cows? I had just at 45 minutes to get ready for my "professional" day, feed the cats, get the car out of the barn, where I put it last night after a hail warning methodically moved across the latenight TV screen - scenes of me running to the car in my p.j's lightning dancing all around me, cracking thunder and pelting rain flashed through my head...I should have known then.



As 6:56 clicked on the oven's digital clock, I took my last swallow of "ice" coffee, grabbed my keys and headed to the barn. Jeans, black top, turquoise jewels spilling and clinking all over me, concho belt and turquoise-dyed lizard boots...pretty much my every-day attire...Yup, Turquoise Cowgirl at your service! The plan...well it was more like a mission... was to use Jake's spit-shined pick-up to herd the dang cows back into the pasture, hoping they'd stay in while I attended my 6 hour suicide meeting 60 miles away. I knew good and well that we had been blessed with at least a full inch of rain in the night - maybe more...at this rate, I didn't have time to check the gauge... I also knew that I wouldn't be able to stop the pick up to fix the fence, in fact I knew I couldn't stop or slow the pick up AT ALL on this entire expedition or I'd sink it in the mire and would never make it to town in time to catch my ride east...besides, my favorite turquoise boots would be totally ruined. So fixing the fence was never a part of the scenerio...which I later wondered why I even embarked on the dang mission. Was it just a mid-life joy ride at seven in the morning? Oh, I really do need some mental health assistance...As I backed the truck, which, by the way has a 6" lift kit on it, out of the barn, the mud in front of the barn immediately released all traction from the huge $300.00 a piece mud tires and I nearly got stuck ... 3 feet from the barn... I should have known then.



Oh, OK, ya' wanna play rough? I can play this game! (Now, I was talking to the mud!) I threw it into 4 wheel drive low and came outta the mud like water off a duck's back - or something like that... No problem, I can conquer this task and still make it to town on time! I smiled a sort of "kick-butt smile"! I felt a surge of empowerment...Hooray for women! Before I got off on some women's lib tangent, I gassed it. The tires began kicking up a considerable amount of sticky mud as I made my way down the drive and all I could think of was Jake and how pissed he'd be if he knew what I was doing with his beloved truck. 7:05. Shoot! You can't go very fast in 4 low, so I made it as quickly as I could to the back road where I could see the bull, one of the longhorns and a calf - standing at the top of the hill past the bridge... hock deep in mud. I should have known then.



Filling my wheezing lungs with stale air from inside the cab, and adjusting my Navajo-signed squash blossom necklace from the 50's that I purchased at the last estate auction in town (which I could pawn to pay the farm mortgage if I needed to anyday of the week!) I said to myself, "It's now or never!" "No guts, no glory!" For some wierd reason, Darwin's Theory of Survival of the Fittest flashed through my meager mind...I threw it in first gear and as I revved the engine,I could plainly hear the soundtrack of "Chariots of Fire"...bum, bum, bu, bu, bum, bum...I let out the clutch and the race was on!

Only 10 tire rotations into this wicked mess, the big honking mud tires were churning up some of the blackest, stickiest mud I had ever encountered in my entire measley life. It began sticking, and clumping ALL OVER the entire body of the truck...within 60 seconds of forward propulsion, all windows were slathered in mud - so thick, I could not see - REALLY!

I could tell that I was fishtailing and knew the bridge was coming soon, so I crumpled down and was able to see out through a 1 inch gap between the windshield wipers and the base of the windshield. If you've ever driven on slick, icy roads, you'll know exactly what I was having to do to stay alive! By now I was really fishtailing from one side of the road to the the other, knowing that if I went off in either ditch, I'd probably roll the truck. It was like the MUD BOG 500...I probably slung mud into the next county! The Chariot's of Fire themesong blared in my head as I white knuckled the camo steering wheel sleeve. Ya' know how riding a bike comes back to you after years of not engaging in it, well, it's the same with 4 wheel drive muddin'. In our earlier married years in Colorado...every time you went to town, you had to battle this 10,000 foot sub alpine, muck mired, tire rutted, 4 wheel drive road of sorts which lead to a raging stream that had no bridge. The vehicle that I cut my 4 wheel drivin' teeth on was dubbed, The Beast! It's strange how quickly I transported myself back to those days. I was ONE WITH THE BEAST...again!

I kinda chuckled outloud in between repeatedly proclaiming my Lord and Savior's first name! As I forded the bridge, I aimed the grille guard for the middle of the hill up ahead. The cattle must have known I meant business and started making tracks to the southern verdure. I honked and hollered with vim and vigor, spittin' mud in every dang direction! Suddenly, there was ZERO visibility through the front windshield! AHHHHH! When my short-lived panic attack subsided, I brilliantly decided to try the wipers. OMG! What a mistake! Continuing to keep the gas pedal pushed to the floormat, I gave the wiper fluid button a push. Great! Now I had liquid chocolate splashing everywhere. Finally, by holding my finger on the wiper fluid sprayer button while the blades spastically tried to do their job, a gorgous, chocolately masterpiece was born on the windshield. The artist in me started seeing identifiable shapes and scenes among the evilness of the mud and I had to shake myself out of the trance I was heading into...More fluid! Ahhh, more visibility! Ohhhh, Jake is going to be so NOT happy with me! The side windows allowed no light in and I felt like I was being cocooned by a ginormous black spider in some Japanese sci-fi film! Strangely enough, the Chariot's of Fire tune was silent.

As I slowed toward the top of the hill, I knew I had to keep the wheels moving or it was over! I also realized as I topped the hill that my plan to turn around and retrace my tracks was definitely not a plan to invest in and my only option was to follow this foulness to the blacktop road which lead to the highway and then head home from the southern route, which was all blacktop. 7:28. I didn't look back to see if the cows had run in the pasture or not - I couldn't... even if I wanted to... all I saw was raw brownie batter slathered on the glass!

Once I had all 4 tires -which were more like brown gumdrops, on the hardtop road, I stopped, caught my breath, put it back into 2 high and headed toward the highway. Merging quickly, I gunned it and hoped I wouldn't get pulled over for operating a motor vehicle without proper and legal visibility.

No ticket...not a smudge of mud on my clothes...not late...I made it home, switched vehicles, grabbed my purse and was off to town. Although I had to forego my breakfast burrito...my first step toward looking like G.I. Jane! I did get my other chores done and was on time for my workshop! It was definitely divine intervention. I love when God moves His mighty hand! Praise His name!

How was y'all's morning? Just in case you think it was fabricated...here's proof!

Hip-Hip-Hip Hooray for Summer

The final school bell for the year has rung and it's now officially summer! The morning after school was out, Dyke loaded up the boat, fishing poles, sleeping bags, cook gear and other sundries and took the boys to the Texas coast (Palacios...where we spent 10 years) to fish for 5 days. Prior to their departure, I came down with a sinus infection shortly after having a root canal, so I stayed home (it's just as well anyway...mosquitoes, humidity, fish slime and salt water don't rate very high on my list). So, I have been home on the couch for the last 4 days watching John Wayne movies, slurping chicken noodle soup and poppin' antibiotics three times a day. Today is a better day...I'm not on the couch. Last evening before dark, I went out to check the cattle - they had come up to the barn to rest in the shade. I discovered two of the cutest day-old calves you'd ever seen! Snow white with black splotches and the other with caramel brown splotches. I could tell Fudge and Rosa were proud and they let me get close enough to touch 'um. The flies were everywhere, so in my half fevered state, I got the fly-sprayer out, mixed a solution and sprayed 'um real good. The wind was in my favor, so I didn't have to chase them around - the wind carried the mist and got a good dosage on each one. I felt better knowing they'll sleep well without those pesky biting flies! I'd post a picture of the calves, but my camera batteries are dead and I haven't felt well enough to venture all the way to town to get more. Maybe tomorrow.

The "wheaties" are here this afternoon to harvest the wheat. It's not a high yield year at all, so it'll be interesting to see how many bushels/acre we make. The wheaties travel from Canada to Texas harvesting for people along the way, then they head back up for the corn harvest and further on to haul fuel to the diamond mines in the arctic circle. As I gaze out the window, the wind is again blowing full force with all of the wheat chafings filling the air! Their combines are GINORMOUS and look like aliens from some sci-fi flick! As amazing huge as they are, they work with practiced precision -almost like a tightly choreographed ballet - one swiping east, while the other swipes west.. laying 12 foot wide swathes of wheatstalk....wish I had my camera.

Two weeks ago, we had some bad storms pass through and dropped @ 4+ inches of rain. It filled the pond up and saturated all of the land for miles. That felt good. Here are some pics of the lower pasture after the rains.

WE'RE BACK!

THE SUNSET AFTER THE STORM

I can't believe how much time has slithered by since my last entry! We're into a whole different month now! Ooopppssss.....OK, what's been going on since the end of April? Well.....

• Zack broke his foot - Classically perfect story for "Young Huck", as he is often referred to. He was, of course, exploring and messin' around on the farm...BAREFOOTED and stepped on a huge horse-crippler cactus. So, he hopped home on the other foot and when he got to the back step, he lost his balance and SOMEHOW...(we've tried to re-enact it and just can't figure out how he did what he did...)slammed the outside of his right foot on the edge of the concrete step and broke the longest outside bone. So, no more baseball, no more "boot-free" days (for 3 weeks). He is having to wear a knee high"boot brace" to stabilize everything - of course that doesn't stop him or even slow him down...he's been caught several times down at the pond or the creek with the dogs and "the red-river-mud-caked boot"!

BULLY, OUR LAB, WAS RATTLESNAKE BIT THE OTHER EVENING...



• Dyke got another turkey- He's been turkey hunting on this huge, expansive lease and the best way he's devised to get where he needs to be by sunrise, is to ride a bicycle...Yup - 260 pounds of sheer...whatever...with a shotgun strapped across his chest Rambo-style, a backpack, flashlight and turkey calls dangling from his neck. His Christmas present from the boys was a new bike - is he regressing already? Anyway, the bike that Santa left was apparently nice looking, but made of cheap plastic parts in the gears and whatnot- they probably came from China. Well, that particular hunting trip proved a disaster when the bike actually "BROKE" and it had to be carried out on foot. He was steaming mad! So, he hauled the mountain bike that he had given to me on our wedding day - nearly 21 years ago - out of the cobwebby depths of the barn and spent 2 days creating a "hybrid" from the parts of both bikes. Fast forward to early last week...the dark journey to the perfect spot to get his bird was not the problem, in fact everything was in working order and he was actually transporting himself across the rugged terrain quite well. Despite the incessant pouring rain, lightning and thunder, he was able to shoot his bird - a fairly large and older, but obviously not wise enough bird. To commence the "expedition" back to the truck, he arranged all of his belongings: gun, pack, and now a large, dead 20 pound turkey. To cut to the chase - if I only had a photo of this situation....in my mind, the visual that I get is one similar to those pictures of a "one-man band"...stuff strapped everywhere, hanging and swinging in all directions, labored movements, impaired vision and incredible balance! Anyway, he was mobile, moving across the rough landscape until the dangling wings of the dead bird, or maybe it was the slinky neck...anyway whatever it was, slung in between the spokes of the front wheel and it was an immediate seizing of forward momentum...He was rapidly forced off the path and CRASHED in an old creek bed, flying over the handlebars and landing in a push-up position! I just can't imagine the hysteria! After "coming to", and probably verbalizing a few expletives, he gathered his stuff...I am not quite sure how he remedied the arrangement of his burden, but he WAS able to finally reach the truck, making it home safely. The fresh turkey was sunk into a homemade marinade for several hours and it was delicious, grilled turkey-ka-bobs that evening...phew...


ZACK - WATCHING SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS WITH HIS PET TARANTULA THAT DYKE FOUND ONE NIGHT ON PATROL.



• Jake got 2 offense tickets when he and Zack "somehow" were allowed to drive to Wichita Falls alone, together. Dyke agreed for the two of them to cut the apron strings and journey 60 miles away from the nest to go to the mall...I was not too keen on it, but went with the law enforcement officer's judgement. Everything was great until they headed to Academy...windows down, tooling along, a local officer spotted Zack without a seat belt in the passenger seat. Wooooooo went the symphony of sirens and lights and they were busted! Upon requesting Jake's license and registration, the officer informed Jake that his license had expired last month! So it's a visit to the judge in Wichita County, and possible defensive driving. Oh, the other part of it was that he had lost his "prescription" glasses last hunting season. He MUST have glasses on when he drives (his license dictates that clearly). So, on top of fine money etc...it's also a visit to an optometrist and a new pair of glasses! To pass his license renewal eye exam, he used my turquoise colored glasses...LIKE THOSE LADIES DIDN'T KNOW THAT THOSE WEREN'T HIS GLASSES...
  

• Our beloved Cashy (choc. lab) died early one morning on the cool concrete floor of the laundry room - she was 12 and had really gone down hill after we started getting all the rain that we've gotten...don't know if it had anything to do with her decline, but things declined quickly after that. She had been spending a lot of her last days in the coolness of the shade by the barn. One evening while we were grilling supper, she came from the barn to where the grill is. I could tell immediately that she was not feeling well. We had to really coax her to come in the house. From a laying position, she drank and drank and drank some cool water from a shallow dish. After a short nap, we coaxed her back outside to go potty. She was passing ALOT of blood and tissue and I knew that she would probably not make it through the night. She didn't. We will all miss her terribly! Her grave is out by the tree west of the porch, next to Dixie-girl, Bud, and an assortment of others. She was an amazing, talented, driven dog with a heart the size of Texas. She's on the left in this picture. Penny is on the right.

SPRING TURKEY SEASON IS HERE...STRUTTIN' TOMS!

Both boys have now harvested their first Rio Grande wild turkey of the '09 season! Good sized toms - Jake's turkey had a 9 inch beard and spurs that reached 1.25 inches...Zack's turkey beard was also 9 inches with spurs that were 1.12 inches... They both called them up out of the flock with a box call, mouth diaphram as well as the distraction of a hen turkey decoy. Jake used a 12 ga. shotgun and Zack's shotgun was a 20 gauge.

HAVE YOU EVER CAUGHT THE MAMMAL WITH THE MOST TEETH WITH YOUR OWN HANDS?

HEY MOM...LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

I GUESS I SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED...WHEN ZACK GOES OUT TO DO CHORES, HE ALWAYS SEEMS TO BRING HOME A TREASURE! (MY CATS DO THE SAME THING WITH RATS!)

IF THE COWS HADN'T GOTTEN OUT AND ZACK HADN'T GONE TO PUT THEM IN, THIS LIL' FELLER WOULD BE ON HIS WAY TO THE NEXT FARM BY NOW! ZACK JUST COULDN'T RESIST!

YUP, CHASED 'EM DOWN (It did lay down and play 'possum' - so the catching part wasn't very difficult...it's the mouthful of teeth that was a little intimidating...)AND GRABBED HIM BY THE SCALY TAIL AND BROUGHT HIM TO SHOW HIS MAMA! (You might be a redneck if.....)

8 'POSSUM FACTS THAT YOU ARE DYING TO KNOW:

1. North America's only marsupial (female with a pouch) mammal.

2. One of the shortest lifespans of that sized mammal.

3. After the babies spend 2-3 months in the "marsupium" (the pouch) (Hmmmm...I have something like that after 2 C-sections!) then, they spend 1-2 months riding on the mama's back while away from the den. (I guess I'm glad I'm a human afterall..1-2 months on MY back??)

4. The only mammal that has 50 teeth!

5. Mostly solitary and nocturnal and hiss when they're disturbed...(Hmmmm....sounds like Dyke!)

6. Omniverous - eats most anything (Hmmm...sounds like Dyke, again!) - from insects to berries and snakes to grass...

7. Very gifted with physical attributes...(Hmmm...I think that's what attracted me to Dyke in the first place....)

8. Can be destructive pests...(If you have possum problems in Oklahoma, you can call the "Skunk Whisperer" and he will rid them from your property with a humane, non-trapping technique...it's true...go ahead....google the Skunk Whisperer...there are pictures to prove it!)

AT LEAST HE BROUGHT HOME 2 TURKEYS FOR THE FREEZER!

NICE, EH? THIS IS DYKE'S HEEL AFTER 4 DAYS OF TURKEY HUNTING IN OKLAHOMA!

OH...THE BOOTS ARE IN THE TRASH OUT IN THE BARN AND HE IS "HEALING" NICELY FROM THIS RECENT FLESH WOUND!

AT LEAST HE BROUGHT HOME 2 TURKEYS FOR THE FREEZER. FRESH WILD TURKEY ON THE GRILL IS OUT OF THIS WORLD!!

I GUESS I NEED TO BE THANKFUL THAT HE'D DO ANYTHING AND GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO BRING FOOD HOME TO THE FAMILY. WHAT A GUY! WOULD YOUR MAN DO THIS FOR YOU????

ARMADILLO IN THE FLOWER POT!

Yesterday it hit 29 degrees when we headed out the door for school and then 50 something in the afternoon. It's been a strange April - to say the least! While Zack was out doing chores, he spotted a 9-bander in an empty flowerpot that had turned on its side by the stupid wind that hasn't stopped since we moved here 5 years ago...anyway...he quickly caught it for a photoshoot and then released it into the pasture. He thinks it lives under the chicken house...there's a big hole dug under the bricks...could be a badger though -he saw one of those last week in a hole along the creek in the pasture! Ahhhh, life on the farm never ceases to provide adventure, thrills and memories that will last a lifetime!